Nuff Said

Thanks for the photo Jean

It Gets Better

Here is a clip of Dan Savage & His Husband Terry - this is directed at queer and questioning teens & other young folk who feel like they are ready to give up on life cause the shit is JUST TOO MUCH. I wasn't even really bullied in High School but I still feel that Alison Kelly (without knowing it) literally saved my life on at least one occasion cause it just sucked so much. Bette Midler also gets some credit since her recording of I Shall be Released was my morning fight song.

This project - It gets better - is becoming a huge collection of video entries of encouragement. & I don't know if it will help some kid somewhere - but I pray that it does. Cause it does get different & it does get better & there are other places to live where you can find how to be yourself and there is a whole crew of other survivors out there who are going to be your family & help you through.

Friday - Dyke March Boston

We went to the Dyke March tonight. R was not in the greatest mood - he really does not enjoy crowded events full of grownups. I was surprised that there were not a few more kids there - less than a dozen probably and none that he wanted to run around with -- none of our friends. Luckily his teacher Jenn was there with her sweetie julie & she got some smiles out of him.
so Boston Dyke march is a march and not a "meander" like the SF version. We had a nice sunset hike through the Common, Back Bay, and eventually looping back into the common.
Estimates were that there were 2000 foks marching - not bad.

Afterwards we headed to Harvard Square for vietnemese food at our favorite neighborhood place Le's.

Just Cause ....

... destroying heterosexual marriages everywhere!

Hello Banned Books Week

Well this always makes me want to start kissing librarians!!! In honour of the week - even though I am a jonny-come lately Ihave copied the list of the most-challenged books of the 1990s straight from the ALA website down below & I have highlighted the ones I've read. You can do this too if you want as sort of a banned books meme. AT THE TOP of the Current Lists are the JK Rowling - Harry Potter Books because of both their dangerous witchy content and also because of Dumbledores' unspoken gayness.

Also here is a LINK to the National Coalition on Censorships list of Banned books with queer content. This is a great place to start if you are looking for good kids books like:

And Tango Makes Three (By Justin Richardson and Henry Cole (Simon and Schuster) The LIST TOPPER for 3 years running because there is nothing so dangerous to american youth as a couple of GAY PENGUINS - especially since it is a TRUE STORY!!

And Tango Makes Three is based on the true story of two male penguins raising a chick in the Central Park Zoo. According the American Library Association it was the most challenged book of 2006, 2007 and 2008. One incident at a Loudoun County, Virginia elementary school involved the book’s removal from shelves in a decision by the local superintendent. There was an immediate backlash and many called for a reconsideration. Opponents of the book claimed that it promoted a ‘homosexual agenda.’ In another incident at a Southwick, Massachusetts elementary school, a librarian claimed she feared losing her job after introducing a class of second graders to the story. The librarian subsequently received a letter from her principal requesting that she ‘take [the] matter seriously and refrain from disseminating information that supports alternative styles of living,’ and that, ‘further infractions [could] result in discipline up to and including suspension and/or termination of employment.’ In a third incident, the book was ordered off bookshelves in one of North Carolina’s largest school districts in Charlotte in 2006.

most-challenged books of the 1990s

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

So go out this week and enjoy a dangerous book!!!!!!!!

We're Here, We're Queer, We Love Pixar

Two big events in BeanTown this past weekend - actually three, Gay Pride Festivities & Parade; RiverFest in Cambridge and UP showing Downtown. Sadly my only photo from Pride is em & boy waiting to head home with balloons at the Park St T Station. The parade ws fun - but like Mexican Food - You just can't compare it to what you get in San Francisco. I think the whole thing passed in just under 3 hours as opposed to SF's over 5 hour behemouth. We did see Lots of Kids & Lots of Churches, a little bit of Leather & our teacher from the boys upcoming Pre-School. Oh, and we got Donuts - Yumm.

At Riverfest later in the day we played with clay & with lots of cool juggling toys.

Then on SUNDAY - Blasto & Cousin Farah both went to the MOVIES - for the FIRST TIME EVAH!!!
We went downtown to see UP - which was PG & not G & would be scary for a little kid who doesn't have a dog that barks constantly thereby making him somewhat callous to attack dogs. After the movie Em had to celebrate with a little spin on the Carousel.

Happy Pride to all my SF & NYC peeps.

Footnote 48 - Happy Anniversary

"We have no occasion in this case to determine whether same-sex couples who were lawfully married in another jurisdiction prior to the adoption of Proposition 8, but whose marriages were not formally recognized in California prior to that date, are entitled to have their marriages recognized in California at this time. None of the petitioners before us in these cases falls within this category, "


Ca Supreme Court 5/26/09





It was May 27 2001 - Eight Years Ago today that Em & I had our "First Marriage" - what I consider to be our "real marriage". Over a hundred guests including her parents, brothers, uncle, grandmother, cousins & their kids & partners; My mom & dad (who are never in the same place!), sisters, friends, cousins, motorcycle club buddies, and even some of our co-workers came together on a beautiful beach and park just North of SF. It was the most wonderful day - amazing weather, a touching ceremony, amazing food, music, friends, family. But of course legally it meant NOTHING.





So we got married again when we moved to MA. this is our "legal wedding" & the sweet part is that em's brother got made an officiant for the day & he "performed" the wedding - this time there were no guests but Monito (he was 4 months old) and Dan's daughter & wife - but this got our little family health coverage (albeit taxable health coverage for me under federal law) and legally recognized in the state we are living in for now. Em still had to adopt our son for him to be "related" to her. And dont even get me started on how we file our taxes.





So last year around this time it became legal for families like ours to get married in California when the Supreme Court there held that family code 308.5 was not compatible with the State Constitution. There was a rush of couples running to the alter between 6/15 and November when prop 8 was going to be on the ballot. Over 18,000 couples - but we weren't one of them - why because we were already married right. As soon as CA recognized same sex marriages as valid my legal MA marriage should make me married in CA too. I mean no one else has to travel the country and get married in every state they may possibly want to spend some time in so we shouldn't have to either - or so I thought.





In fact we were in CA in Oct. for Mel & Veejays lovely wedding in Mendocino & I suppose we could have tried to do some quickie wedding then - but like I said we should have been married by virtue of the fact that we were married - right???





So yesterday the CA Supreme Court published its decision on the legality of Prop 8 - which took the same language that was in the Family Code Section 308.5 - marriage is between one man & one woman... and put it into the State's Constitution. They held that the Prop is valid, that it ammended rather than revised the constitution & the voters of CA can do that by a simple majority vote on a proposition thats placed on the ballot if you get signatures equal to 8% of the number of people who voted in the last Gubernatorial election (???). - But they held that the 18,000 or so folks who did get hitched in CA between June 15 & November ARE STILL LEGALLY MARRIED.





But then there is footnote 48 - and that's us - the lawfully married out of state queers who didn't think we were required to run out to CA and basically perform a sham marriage just to get a legal recognition which automatically attaches to ANY OTHER LEGALLY MARRIED COUPLE --- and now we are basically being invited to sue CA to find out if we are or are not married there.





So on that note I will say Happy Anniversary Emily - on this the date of our true wedding before our families, our community & our god - We have made it to 8 years, through two states, med school and most of residency, we have become homeowners, landlords, parents (to rats, dog & boy) - we have done good & sometimes not so good - but you have remained my partner & co-conspirator & the first memory number on my phone --- I love you.

"My President Obama" - Part Deux

So we are not in DC enjoying the festivities live like Doanie, Jennifer Brown, & Dev & Jesse - among millions of others... but still we have been captivated with Inaugaral Fever here in our casa. The Lil' Monkey still excitedly cheers when he sees "my President - Obama" on the TV (although he did confuse him with MLK once or twice over the weekend. We watched the pre-inauguration concerts over the weekend and watched the swearing in today. It does make one proud to be an American --- I was especially delighted to see the Gay Men's Chorus singing under the Lincoln Memorial.... nice.

The Moment

His President

When we see posters, pictures, buttons etc of Obama you can ask him who that is & he excitedly exclaims Obama! Obama! - and if you ask who that is he will tell you that Obama is "My President" - not our president mind you - but his very own personal president.

I don't know if 2 year olds are generally politically minded, but here in Cambridge they apparently are. Our whole playgroup will yell out Obama Obama as they see bumper stickers and house signs. I am taking this all as a good omen. I will let this man be my sons' personal president & I will expect him to take that charge seriously. Hope, Change, Education, Peace, Our Enviornment, Our Economy, Our Rights.... I hope they are in good hands - for my son's sake & for all our sakes.

We interupt this family blog....

I saw this over at Lesbian Dad and had to skip right on over to ph33r & loathing to snag a copy - please go over there & read the MOOSEHUNTER article as well its worth your five minutes FOR SURE - it does a good job at saying what I would say if I was clever enough to say it so well - especially this following quote:

...I don’t know why it’s a taboo to say someone is too dumb to be President. Hell, most people don’t have the kind of mental sharpness necessary. That’s why it’s so important to pick the right person out of an entire country of potential leaders. But Sarah Palin? She’s not even worth considering. She’s fucking dumb, okay?

Dan Savage wants to be your gay pal - Sarah Palin

Reasons to Vote NO on 8

Check out this quick video - I first saw it over at LesbianDad and was happy - actually overjoyed to see my old housemate Tsippora representing for the cause - these kids are awesome - I want them all to come to my house & play with my baby.



Take a minute & check out this commmercial too....



Now go call or email someone in California and remind them how important it is to vote this Nov.

Peace -

Walking with Grandpa & Stefan

Grandpa Eldon was in town for the HLS reunion & the lil monkey got to spend some nice time with him & Stefan (who he now loves). We got to go to a way past bedtime dinner at the red house in Harvard Square, then dinner at Grafton Park Pub - also in the square. Mommy & Mama got to go to Oleana (yum!!!!) and on Sunday Grandpa & S. came to our house - checked out the park in back and went to Irish Brunch at the Druid up in Inman. We also stopped in at Bird by Bird & scored a cute Ape T-shirt for the little monkey.

All in all a nice time. Of course the weather cleared up the day after the guys flew back to SF.

One More Reason Why it Sucks to Be Gay

Actually 600 reasons - yep thats the difference in $$'s between what we will get dropped into our bank account from the Feds vs. the amount that we would be getting if our MA marriage was "recognized". So am I bitter ---- silly question right. Add this to the demeaning treatment you get at the customs/immigration booth (which one of you is his real mother- we both are assh*le), to the difficulty in filing taxes when you have to create a joint return to file in either MA or CA and then Re-Do your return to file Federal Taxes, oh and also the fact that the online tax services won't even let you file the CA State return - nope you need to go into H&R B#llsh#ts office and pay a ton more to file a joint CA return - even though they've known all year that domestics were going to be asked to file as married in CA.

So if some lawyers want to contact me (hi Jaime) I think I am a GREAT plaintiff for a gay marriage lawsuit based on the economic discrepancy caused by not being seen as a married taxpayer.