Saturday, December 10

Maternity Clothes

Well we discovered a trick for tolerable butch maternity shopping - that is to go into a "real" maternity store first. Em and I were downtown last weekend and we went into this ladies shop and I was horrified!!!!! It was filled with clothes I would never ever ever in a million years touch - much less wear. Then we went across the street to Old Navy (thank you Phancy) and up to the 3rd floor maternity ward and suddenly even the jeans with the applique didn't look nearly so bad.

Size hurts though... even before getting pg I was getting a little freaked out about the fact that after a childhood & youthful 20's of being a skinny stick guy I started to gain lbs and waist size every year since 30. Gone are the youthful days of the 28" waisted jeans of yore... and 10 years later at 40 I'm digging the baggy fit Lucky Jeans 38's that fit much closer to a 40 - and this is sinching the jeans on my low hips under where the tummy is actually making itself known.

So my initial maternity thought was that I'd just step up the jeans into the really big guy sizes - 42, 44, 46 etc but then when blasto started pushing out into my low guts I realized that in a month or so I'd be wearing jeans that would fall off my butt cause there wouldn't be anything holding them up.... This called for a change of plans - hence the trip downtown.

So the good folks at Gap and their sister stores make jeans & cords to fit the big belly - but they size them funny... there is no 38"x30" like Levis & Luckys and real jeans -- no now I am looking at S, M L and XL with a hard to find chart that says L = 12, 14 and XL is 16 etc - how hard would it be to add the inches to this chart????? Too hard to do clearly. Long story short - after the humiliation of trying to pull on a pair of med's and a pair of Larges - Yup I'd be an XL. - Fuck!

Humiliation suffered I am now the proud papa of 2 pairs of roll front pants that better get me through the next 6 months. On a happier note - the Manifesto Mens XL shirts are PERFECT dude maternity shirts & I snagged two beauties at their sample sale a couple weeks back (plus I got two really cute shirts for the lil dude when he gets here).


Anonymous said...

I've been through the crazy butch maternity clothes madness. For the last 3 months I ended up wearing carhart and dickie overalls. I got a realy large size and got them hemmed. It worked out great, I still had my back and front pockets. I wore mostly large tees and buttons down short sleeve shirts. The maternity stores are so crazy high fem.
Good luck.

Kwynne said...

Hey there, hi there. Online friend Isaiah recommened a read of your blog. I have jsut skimmed and I am so happy to have found your words. I am over at Butch Baby Makin', but yo, I gave into the fem mat clothes. I have so much more I could say now, but I guess I just wanted to say hello and best to you and your little one.